A&W

A&W

Baldwin, WI

Reviewed June 28th, 2005

Rockets and mortars and things that go bang. Cold root beer floats but I did not get one. Spinners and shooters, ground blooms and fuses. Big double burger with lettuce and juices. Paper and sulphur in cardboard tubes. One toilet, one stall, one urinal, the men's was no hell. Names like "family crisis" and "super jumping bean ariel assault" and "undead vampire rockets" only hint at the fun. Ladies have antiseptic alcohol to dab on their toilet. Comes with instructions too. You can buy bottle rockets by the gross or by the yuck, it matters not. Ladies you also get a hands free paper towel dispenser. Bottle rockets suck anyway. I ordered onion rings and fries with eyes bigger than my stomach but I said "eyes bigger then my head" because I was ill with fever, ill with fever. Better stick with fountains I say. The men's had automatic paper towel dispenser too, but not toilet antiseptic. Still, we get yummy urinal cakes too, cut up into bite sized morsels. Mmmmm hmmm. Caution: may emit showers of sparks and crackly fireworks stuff. What? No, the fountains from Fireworks City not the A&W restrooms just across the road. On the news tonight they showed mannequins getting burned and blown up by fireworks. Truly, you should never hand fireworks to mannequins. They cannot move fast enough to get away from the fireworks, they have poor reaction time and often fail to respond to instructions.

- Justin Teerlinck

RESTROOM RATING: 6
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